afterlife
by Ikarias
Summary: .


Because this is a very much debated anime i must make something clear.:

I do not own NGE, its characters, or its storyline. This is a fanfic.  
Inconsistencies can not be fully prevented.  
Criticism is gratefully accepted, flaming is not.  
This is my vision. It does not mean you have an obligation to keep reading.

* * *

How very real -  
How very sad,  
To measure a life  
By something unfound,  
And just there -  
AN UNSEEN SHADOW!

August 25, 1969  
By Linda A. Copp ©

-

As usual, Shinji lay awake. Thinking. About four moths of silence in Nerv.

03:00

Four months. And three hours since he awoke on that beach next to Asuka. They seemed to be the same. And not just to the outside world. Their 'relationship' was the same as well. He was the baka, she was the bitch. Even back then, in that god know how long a time between destruction and creation, even then she was the better of him. He choose to recreate the world to what it was before, with some minor changes. She was the one who wanted to erase third impact. Only they four knew what really happened. Asuka, Rei, Shinji and PenPen. That was all he could get done with her. That PenPen knew. He now knew how a homeless bum felt, when ever people stared at him in the street. Feeling sorry for him. The powerless boy. The once god. He had it all. He could have recreated the world in his image had it not been for her. But, just like in the bible, and so many other religions, mankind began with a man and a woman. Makes you wonder if they really are right on some points. Adam and Eve. It was just a shame that they hated each other this time.

03:20

His thoughts wondered again. A big test tomorrow. He hoped he'd do well. Since it were the last couple of months of school, this was one of his last chances to pump his grades. No, he was worrying to much. He did get extra lessons from Rei after all. Or should he say sister.

His sister. That sounded so: 'wow'. He was well aware of the fact that she had walked a very thin line of humanity, but by blood, she was his sister. He liked her, though he was a little worried that she may feel more. She often clung to him, adoring him, almost worshipping him. Those moments were the scariest. Other than that, she was turning around. She was no longer locked up in herself. Not all the time anyway.

03:50

a sudden knock at the door flung his eyes wide open, only to be slammed shut as the lights were flicked on. "Are you sleeping?" Asuka asked in a dim voice. 'Not anymore' he thought, but answered with a soft no. her response was as unusual as the whole situation. "Oh." she said as she stood there. After an awkward silence Shinji turned towards her, squinting his eyes. "Turn of those lights and sit down." The lights were turned off as if she had her hand on the switch, waiting for him to invite her. She made her way to the bed, and sat down. He got up, and sat down next to her.

They sat for a while. Not talking, not moving. Shinji knew she needed this. His salvation was that for some time, just before he became god, his sister and his mother were with him. Both who are, in some way, still alive. Asuka however had it far worse. He could only imagine ho it must have felt. She didn't want her mother back. Not in her EVA, not in the flesh. She said that she didn't want her to go through that again. And now she doesn't have any family left. No ties. No commitments. No-one to talk to on a familiar basis. Only him. And so, at 4 in the morning, they were sitting on his bed, talking without words. Great.

"Shinji, I'm tired." She suddenly said. Her words seemed to break the almost holy silence between them. "tired of what, Asuka?". "Tired of this life I'm leading. The everyday routine. The secrets. Myself. Everything."…"I want to die." He knew this was coming. It was happening a lot more these days. He understood how she felt though. Sometimes, in the dark of the night, it crawled into his bed, lying next to him. Sometimes they both planned for their demise, plotting how, and where. Not when, that was always set. Tomorrow. At the railroads, the roof, kitchen, they've seen it all. But always tomorrow. And in the morning, they will decide it wasn't worth it. That they had a lot more to live for. They'd call it off.

He put his arm around her, pulling her head against his shoulder. "I know Asuka, I know". She stared to cry, softly in the night. It was just a matter of time, they both knew it. Only a matter of time.

* * *

Let me know. There will be more tension, but i mainly want to focus on how those 3 cope with everyday life after third impact. Read and Review! If no-one's interested, ill quit. 


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